"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me..." John 14: 1.
I have just finished reading a wonderful book called Captivating: Unveiling The Mystery of a Women's Soul. If this were just a few months earlier in the year or God forbid, a year or two ago, I would have been embarrassed to let people know that I desired to read a book about the heart and soul of a women. But I now know, and have gradually learned over the years, that I am a vulnerable human being, I am a sinner, a person with weaknesses, problems and things to work on and I love it! I have found comfort in being my true self and comfort through knowing my true self was made and can be entrusted by I AM, Yahweh. After all, He already entrusts His love with us.
I found that this is a book that teaches and inspires such encouragement. Yes, it is a book about the soul of women, however authors, John and Stasi Eldredge, wrote the book not just for a women audience but also for men. This is not a self-help book with 3 easy steps for women to be the best women they can be. It is not simply a list of secrets about women that men can read so as to better understand what lies behind enemy lines. Instead it is a book that speaks truths of us as humans and children of God. While it is about women, it is also about how women have played such an integral role in our world, and how men can better their women, and how women can in turn better their men. It is a book I plan to delve more deeply in, as I know I missed many important facts. It challenges, and even made me scratch my head and disagree with at times, but THAT is what makes a great book. If you sit and agree with what you read and never once feel challenged or feel as though you discovered new truth, well... then that means you just read a terrible book.
In the last chapter, Stasi Eldredge discusses a fear that even as a man I absolutely related to. It is a fear that claims no gender and is in no way situational. In fact I believe it is a crippling fear that just about every single person struggles with. She discussed her fear of vulnerability. In her explanation of her fear she goes on to tell her story about being a speaker to women's groups in which she would offer her heart. In essence she would speak in front of other women who struggled with a variety of spiritual and emotional issues and allowed herself to be vulnerable to them. Her role was to be a strong leader type and positive example, but how? How do we get past our problems and allow ourselves to be vulnerable? How do you preach to a group of people about truth when you yourself feel the pain of past lies and current struggles? This is scary for even the most powerful speakers. She had felt added pressure being that she was at the time "severely overweight." She describes her being overweight as her, "sin, [and her] addiction. [In plain sight] for all to see." She knew she was still healing and she knew she struggled and she knew that she was a sinner yet she also knew something we can all take a great deal in knowing. She knew to trust in our Lord. She knew the Lord invites us to be vulnerable and to share our weaknesses.
So many of us believe our troubles and problems are things that can be battled and fixed without the help of others. So many of us feel like our problems aren't "that big of a deal." But the truth is if you think you can keep yourself hidden in the crowd, fixing yourself alone, waiting for that day to come when you can finally jump in front of the crowd and show your newly figured out life... you will fail. Every time. You will fail if you do not surrender to the life of vulnerability. I am not saying we need to stop relying on ourselves or to be completely dependant on others--that is unhealthy too. Instead accept yourself for who you are. Be vulnerable and get motivated to change yourself with the help of others. Show your strength when it most needs to be shown, but learn to let that guard down. We tend to get hurt in so many different ways over the years that we put up our guard and never allow it to come back down. We choose to block out the army of others and battle alone. We have a “guard” to put up for a reason, but we tend to get so afraid we soon forget how to let it come down when we want it to. It’s incapacitating. It pushes us further into our depressions and sorrows. That guard that was once put up to protect from further damage ends up slowly suffocating us into more of a weakened and damaged state.
So what then? What did Stasi learn? What can we all learn from knowing this? It is best said in Stasi’s caption from the book, "...we don't get to wait to offer our lives until we have our acts together...If we did, would anyone ever feel like offering anything?"
We are meant to be vulnerable. We do not get the luxury to step out and be strong as soon as we "get our acts together." If we were to wait until we were to figure ourselves out, no one would ever set an impact on this world. No one likes to be a person who hides and cannot move forward, so take that first step, be vulnerable and know that you are not alone. Even the most powerful and strong have their weaknesses; the difference is that they are strong enough to accept their God given right to be vulnerable.
I make mistakes; YOU make mistakes, so may you learn that WE can work on our mistakes together, in God.
